The other day I was watching a Q&A video by Lilly Singh, and one of the questions was how she feels about a specific person (she didn’t say their name) saying bad things about her in their videos. And she responded in such a wise and mature way that is a good example for all of us.
First of all, she didn’t mention that person’s name in the video. Secondly, she was very aware of the fact that when people are bashing her in their videos, it says more about them than about her. This was made even more clear by the fact that every single person who had previously bashed her in their videos could have instead just called her, texted her, or sent her an DM, because they either had her phone number or they were following each other on social media. So the fact that they chose to publicly bash her instead of telling her privately that they were disagreeing with something she said or did, really says a lot.
But what stood out most to me was when she said, “I’m just here to create content. Nothing you do will change that. And nothing you do will make me bash you in my videos.”
This also reminded me of the lyrics in Beyoncé’s song “Sorry” from her album “Lemonade”. That whole album is of course about her dealing with the infidelity of her husband. In that song she says,
I left a note in the hallway
By the time you read it I’ll be far away
I’m far away
But I ain’t fucking with nobody
It’s the same concept: No matter what you do, I WON’T SCOOT DOWN TO YOUR LEVEL. That’s a big deal. It’s realizing, I don’t have any control over what you say or what you do, but I have full control (and full responsibility) over myself. And I choose to take the high road. No matter what you do, my first priority is to be a good person. And no matter how much trash you’re spilling on your side, I’ll keep my side of the street clean.
This is important people! It’s something I talk about in my blog posts and with my coaching clients all the time:
KEEP YOUR SIDE OF THE STREET CLEAN!
In talking with people I’ve realized, people feel entitled to retaliate. He started it! I’m nice until… What was I supposed to do after she…
That’s very immature. And it’s hurting yourself more than it is the other person. Karma aka the law of cause and effect is real. You will be feeling the consequences. By retaliating you’re only pouring gasoline onto the fire. In order to quench the fire, you “turn the other cheek”.
You might get triggered, people might be pushing your buttons, things might happen in a way you don’t like – that’s just part of life. You have no control over that. But you do have full control over how you RESPOND to life’s stressors. And that’s what makes all the difference. Let me be very clear,
Someone being mean to you, does NOT give you the right to be mean to them.
You have the right to brush the experience off and move on. You have the right to remain kind. You have the right to be the voice of reason. You have the right to stand your ground as a good person. You have the right to walk away from that situation. You have the right to be the bigger person. You have the right to practice impulse control. You have the right to be a beacon of light. You have the right to be the most gracious and wonderful person in the room. You have the right to keep a clean conscience. You have the right to be the kind of person who simply has too much self-respect to scoot down to someone else’s level. You have the right to be GREAT!
And imagine how good you would feel. Imagine how good it would feel to be the kind of person who can say,
Always be gracious
Best revenge is your paper
So yeah, not only is it more fun to be a good person, it’s also better for your karma. Win-win! And who isn’t looking for more things to have in common with Beyoncé?
Don’t let other people’s egos trick you into thinking that you have to be a bad person in order to fit in. Don’t be ashamed of loving people who don’t love you back. Don’t hesitate to be kind to people who aren’t kind to you. Don’t ever change your morals or who you are for anyone. Be a good person when it’s easy. And also when it’s tough. Be a good person, always.
The clean conscience alone is reward enough. But I have a feeling you’ll get even more ;)
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