We all go through tough times every now and then. And so many of us struggle with our negative thinking patterns. Obviously we’d like to be happy again immediately. And we’d also prefer if we didn’t have to do anything in order to change and improve. Isn’t there an app for that? But here’s the thing. It’s up to you to change your thoughts. You actually have to put the work in, do the heavy lifting. And yes, it can feel like a battle. It’s difficult to train your mind to think more positively. Negative thinking is addictive. And it’s so ingrained into our society that sometimes it’s hard to even conceive of an alternative. When you first make the decision to be a more positive, optimistic person, or when you first decide to get over your rough patch, it’s perfectly normal that positive thoughts don’t come naturally to you yet. It takes at least 30 days of consistent daily effort to have those positive thoughts move down from your conscious mind, to the subconscious mind where they will feel more natural and automatic. It’s like that with everything. It does take your conscious daily effort in the beginning, but you do have neuro-plasticity, so your brain will form new neural pathways if you stick with it and put the work in.
And that’s where a lot of people give up. They think once they have a handful of positive thoughts and beliefs – that should be it, that the negativity should be gone then and there. But it does take your conscious effort to redirect your mind every time it reaches for a dose of negativity, and offer it instead a serving of positivity. It does take time and effort, but it will get easier over time. You just can’t give up. You have to stick with it. That’s the best advice no matter what goal you’re trying to achieve. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. It’s like when you have a cold. Your immune system is fighting off the virus 24/7. Some days it feels like the virus has won, but your immune system never gives up. It’s its persistence that wins the fight. Over time the virus gets weaker and weaker, until it’s completely gone. That’s what you have to do with your mind. Be persistent in your efforts to choose love and positivity. Keep showing up every single day. That’s all it takes for you to win this fight. Persistence.
I know how easy it is to give up hope when things aren’t happening as fast as you want them to, but as long as you’re moving in the right direction, that’s all that matters. Even if you spiraled down deeper than you ever did before, you can always get back up. It might take a bit longer, but just know that if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, not only can you get “back to normal”, you can come out of this better than ever! Stronger, wiser, happier, calmer, more resilient,… Because when you hit rock bottom, you’re not just sweeping the floors in your dilapidated house anymore – you actually tore that whole thing down, and are building a new and beautiful house, brick by brick, with a strong foundation, proper pipework, without any clutter, and only deliberately selected furnishing. It’s gonna be lush! But of course that’s gonna take longer than simply sweeping everything under the carpet.
Without ashes to rise from the phoenix would just be a bird standing up. I am a phoenix, and I will rise.
Also, I’ve been there. So many people have been there (read Eat, Pray, Love). You feel so low that you have no idea how you could ever get back up again, but if you just keep putting one foot in front of the other, then slowly, day by day, the little pieces of your heart start coming back together again. It’s not an overnight thing, but it happens. You heal. You rise back up. And once you’re on that path, more often than not, you’re gonna want to keep going. I don’t think there ever comes a time when you feel that you’ve “arrived”. You’re always gonna wanna reach higher, do more, improve, get better. And that’s good. But you also want to pause and reflect, and in this present moment appreciate and be grateful for everything that’s already working in your life, for all the blessings, and all the happy moments. That’s what I did back in the day and what I’m still doing to this day. I always try to count my blessings. Because gratitude and appreciation go a long way. And they can make you feel better instantly.
The universe is on your side. Part of the reason why negativity is the default mode for so many of us, is because we’ve repeated these negative thoughts to ourselves so many times. We’ve heard them from others, and we just kept repeating them over and over again, 24/7. Now you have to be as vigilant in repeating that the universe is on your side and that love and miracles are here for you as you have been with thinking the opposite. With our negativity-bias we all find it so much easier and even more natural to think negatively than to be positive and optimistic. But if you want to turn that tendency around, you’re gonna have to do the heavy lifting and actively repeat these positive and optimistic statements so they can crowd out all the garbage egomania that has settled into your psyche over the years.
And if you do, it’s all gonna be, not just okay, but wonderful. You just gotta keep moving forward. Step by step. Day by day. Persistence always wins the fight.
Lots of love,
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